Busy Bee, Jaded at Work

It has been too long since I've been on here. I have been soooo busy and time has flown so fast I can hardly believe it!

To bring you up to speed:

I had my final ultrasound a couple of weeks ago and the radiologist found NOTHING!!! Yippie! No more doctor's appts! YAY! It was such a relief to know that the whole ordeal is over and done.

I've been working a ton. Strangely, it's still only 40 hours a week, but with the Saturday's, it seems like so much more because I'm there 6 days a week. Most of the time I would have gotten a half day off, but the past week that has not been so. One of my coworkers was on vacation and the other is laid up in the hospital. I thought she was faking for a while (she's pretty tight with an old employee who faked being sick, forged doctors excuses and was able to stay on short term disability for months at full pay, I figure that she picked up a few tricks from her. It would only stand to reason that she'd lie about her health since she has slowly been releasing info to me about other things that she'd lied to me about). So, with two out and without a boss, we have been super short staffed.

My new boss, Liz, started yesterday. She just moved here from Gainesville, Fl. I really like her a lot. This job is a promotion for her and it's nice to have someone who is familiar with what my job is and the challenges that the teller line faces every day. So far it seems like she's in our corner. We'll see how long that lasts. I believe that she will always support us, but our opposition is tough. The big wheels at work have started laying down the law with our sales even more so than before. I really should have seen it coming since they took away some of the products that we were able to get for sales (that were the majority of our sales), yet required the same output as before. It reminded me of when Pharaoh told the Israelites that they needed to make the same number of bricks, but they were not allowed to have any straw. The only difference is that we aren't building the pyramids here. Anyway, they've really been hammering us down about what they consider to be "real" referrals for sales. What used to count no longer does and regardless of how much work we put into the sale, if they have the slightest reason to believe that the customer was even remotely considering buying what we were selling before we talked with them, we don't get credit for it. I referred over twice as many sales than I got credit for last month just for that very reason. Jaded. And shafted. That's how I've felt for the last month at work. Needless to say, I'm not really excited about my employer at this moment. Thankfully, Liz is here and will hopefully help us.

On a brighter note, my house is clean. :) I feel like it's been ages since the thing has been cleaned from top to bottom and it feels so nice. I've been so swamped at work that I'd just clean this now and that later, so it's been clean, just not spic and span all at once.

We have had some killer rain shoot through here the last couple of days! Whew! Those storms have about killed our flower garden at our front walk. We had so much rain two nights ago, that it was spilling over the edge of the gutters because it couldn't drain out fast enough. That water was then pounding our prize flowers on the front porch. It not only beat the flowers down, but washed all the mulch and the dirt away, leaving behind only sad flowers with exposed roots. :*( So, John, as faithful and sweet as ever, went out two nights ago and fixed the flowers for me. He used all the left over dirt and mulch we had from planting them a few weeks ago and fixed them up beautifully. We figured that they'd have a chance to recover from the damage. Then it rained again last night. Again we had so much rain that it over flowed the gutters and caused the same damage. Again. John's been out there again this evening cleaning up from the mess. He has also installed an additional line of defense- some edging along the back of the garden and some larger much chips that (hopefully) won't float away. I'm just praying that the rain that they are predicting for the next few days will be lighter. These flowers need a chance to recover from their beatings.

Things at church have been going well, too. The Busy Women's Bible Study is progressing along well. We started with about 40 women and now we have a core group of about 12 ladies who have dedicated themselves to the study of God's Word and Holy Tabernacle. I love coming to class each month and listening to their questions, it always sparks such wonderful conversation about God and His Word. Also, Mindy's planning of our Babbie Mason concert this September is gearing up. I'm so excited about the whole thing. It will be a blast. One of the things that we will have are cardboard testimonies. God has been working on me so much over the last few months and has given me the courage to not only face the fears of my past, but being to embrace them as such a blessing, that I'm thinking about volunteering to hold my testimony up in front of the crowd. After all, it's not mine to begin with, it's His.

Also- Praises for God: My best pal and yoga teacher's sister was dealing with a terrible cancer and has (for the time being) beat it. The last tests show that as of right now, she is cancer free! YAY! Now, just more prayers for their mom who's recently been diagnosed with breast cancer.

Whew, I've had so much to say! It's been too long.

Atlanta Botanical Gardens

John took me to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens today to celebrate my upcoming birthday. It was a much needed trip and excuse to get away. With everything that's been going, Heather is right, it's time to make new traditions, have new memories, to be renewed.

The Cascade Garden:
The Great Lawn:

Looking back over the Great Lawn from the Conservatory:In the Orchid Room:

The Edible Garden: The flowers in the pond and the fruit above the garden are all glass. They also had what we called "The Great Wall of Herbs" where they had a vertical wall of various herbs planted into the wall, held in place by some fabric.

Me in the Rose Garden:

Overlooking the formal seasonal garden with the signature fountain:

John with the largest palm leaves ever in the Conservatory- the pic does not do the leaves justice:

More giant palm leaves:

Here's where we sat, eating a snack. It was so peaceful, it reminded us of our trip to Charleston and great classic movies like Lawrence of Arabia- one of my fav places in the garden:

John in my fav place in the garden- the Japanese Meditation Garden:

Meditation garden:

Meditation Garden:

Me and the frog that greeted us:

We had a fantastic time- I can't wait to go back.

We finished up our outing by eating my b-day dinner at Bahama Breeze. We have never been, but will definitely go back. It was delicious and a wonderful way to end such a perfect day. I know it was a bit early to celebrate, but it worked out perfectly for us. I am so thankful that we had the opportunity and such a wonderful time. One of my best days ever, hands down.

His Name Is Jehova Rapha

Amazing things. That's what He's been doing for me. Healing me from the inside out. With a tough weekend ahead of me I went for a double header at yoga on Thursday night. It was a wonderful time that I got to spend with friends and in prayer and meditation. I had a traditional vini yoga class first that where we pushed ourselves and each other while learning some new things about down-dog. Heather was so proud of my Chattaronga Dindasana (?sp). It's an advanced yoga pose where you begin in a push up position (at the top of the push up) and then slowly lower yourself down to the floor as far as you can and hold it. We've only tried it in class a few times because it is so difficult and in the past I've only been able to lower myself down a couple of inches. Not yesterday. Through the work of yoga, regular push ups, and CrossFit training, I am now able to lower myself just to the point where my nose is about to touch the floor. And remain there. Heather was floored that I was able to lower myself with such control, since she has known my struggle with upper body strength. Needless to say, we had a small celebration in class.

After the first class was over, we waited for the yogi's to show up for the second class, the restorative and meditation class. No one else showed up, so it was just me and Heather. Thankfully, I was able to get Heather to practice with me (she has been going through a rough time on her own and needed the practice bad). It was a wonderful time of deep relaxation and prayer with God, both of which I needed badly.

Through my time of prayer, God showed me the most beautiful image. I have been struggling with some issues from my past that always seem to creep and gang up on me this time of year. Memories that I have trouble "putting behind me and straining forward to what lies ahead". Yesterday, I came to yoga seeking restoration and healing; and that's exactly what I got. God began by replaying images of my past as if He were showing me a movie. Strangely, when the images flashed before me, I no longer felt the hurt feelings that I have before. When the images were over, He showed me a picture of myself, lying down in a beautiful white garment. Leaving from my heart was a series of little white hearts, some large and some small, others where medium sized. They left my heart in a row, each coming from my heart one at a time. I knew instantly those were the feelings that I have been dealing with. The hearts then floated away gently, like they were on a breeze and drifted through the sky into space. God then spoke to my heart and told me that He was taking them away and placing them on an island far away. I then saw the hearts float through the universe to another planet and then onto a beautiful tropical island, more beautiful then I could have ever imagined with my own mind. Palm trees, white sand, with the most crystal clear blue ocean water ever. Then God told me that I couldn't have the hearts back because they belonged to Him. He said He took them when He died for me on the cross and He won't let me have them back; they were His. I was at such peace then, knowing that the feelings that have been plaguing me for so long are going to be taken care of by God Himself. Oh what a wonderful God I serve. With the image over, God then comforted me with His Word. During my time of meditation, scriptures came flooding back to my mind. He is the Great Reminder because many of these scriptures I have not committed to memory, but He recalled them back to the forefront of my mind. Comforting me with their strength and power. Praise be to God that He is the Divine Healer. Breaking me free of bondage and healing my deepest wounds. I have not felt the same since. I have a peace about me, a lightness to my body. Praise God.

Healing Times

It's been too long since I've made a post on here. I've been soooo busy running here and there, doing this and that. I figured that it's high time I update everyone on what's been going on.

Beth Moore the weekend before last was FANTASTIC!!! It was amazing to have the opportunity to listen to her speak on her book. She pulled the scripture of the day from Ephesians 4:24 (ironically, the date was 4/24- lol! God's so funny- I guess he worked it out like that so we can always remember the date and what we learned). She gave a list of descriptions of how a secure woman in Christ looks. And let me tell you, she is gorgeous! I am so thankful that I am a new creation and that God is forming me to look more like her everyday. Again I was reminded of how I need to choose to put on the good clothes that He has given me, just like I'd pick out any other outfit I would wear. He's been really on me about that one. So much so, I've felt compelled to make a sign to put in my closet where I get dressed every morning that reads "She is clothed with strength and dignity". The message of the day and the praise songs we sang left me in tears for most of the day. Amazing. That's the only way to describe the work that He's completing in me. Absolutely amazing.

The fun times didn't stop there. The following day in church our youth praise band led the musical part of our worship service and then our youth pastor, Brian, preached about hurting people and where the hope for all situations is found. It's like he was preaching just to me. So many things he said resonated perfectly with the work that God is performing in me. The sermon haunted me for days, until I finally found the courage in Christ to hit the release valve and share some stuff that kept coming up in my memories for the last couple of months on my insecurity journey.

Hindsight is funny. This weekend is Mother's Day. It's proven to be a tough time for me over the last few years. Too much history. Too much hurt. I am so thankful that God has been working so diligently on me the last few months. Really, over the last year. I'm glad that He knows what I'm up against. The things that few people know with what I'm dealing. But healing is a slow process. Sometimes you may think that you're healed, but really it's not a scar, it's still a wound. I'm so thankful that He is the great and mighty Healer and is binding up my wounds to they will no longer fester, but become scars, just reminders of my past.

Good News!

I finally received some good news from my doctor this past week. :) The breast surgeon that I went to see is almost certain that the lump is a cyst and is shrinking! Praise God! From my first ultrasound to the second one in his office just over a week later, the cyst shrank almost to half the original size! With that evidence, he decided that it would not be necessary to perform a biopsy (YAY!) . Instead, we will just monitor it to make sure that it's really going away. I'm scheduled to get another ultrasound on May 12th and then he will compare the images and see what we need to do from there. As for now, it's super good news. Thank you, Abba!

Yesterday was the annual women's tea at church. It was a blast decorating a table with Amy. Ours was the tackiest table around. Many of the others were super fancy and then there was ours. Bright blue, yellow and orange complete with lilies, hibiscus flowers and colorful leis! We got so many compliments on our table- it was a huge hit. We even had ladies say "someone told me to come over here and look at the table with the leis". The day was fantastic! I was finally able to introduce two good friends together- Miss Sauni (who lives in my neighborhood) and Eileen (my adopted mom). Sauni and Eileen remind me so much of one another its uncanny to me. Then when they started talking we found out that they both had lived in the same area of Pennsylvania around the same time. They hit it off great- it was like two old friends meeting up- fantastic!

Next Saturday I'm going on the road with Mindy and Amy- we're off to Woodstock First Baptist to see Beth Moore in the simulcast for her new book, So Long Insecurity. I'm so excited about the trip- it's going to be great. I finished the book a little over a week ago and it was fantastic! It's so funny how God has been working on me through that book. I've read things in there that I'm finding everywhere around me, just echoing what He's taught me. Reminding me of what I'm becoming and where He's leading me. So, there's no telling what He's going to throw at me next weekend. At least I'll have my best friends to help me through this part of the journey.

Hurry Up and Wait

Well, I went to the doctor yesterday for my 1st ever mammogram. It was an interesting experience. When I first arrived, they had me dress in this fashionable plaid top. Next I sat around for almost an hour. I was informed that because of my age, they wanted me to get an ultrasound first to determine if I was really going to need to get the mammogram; so I had to wait my turn. Finally, I was called back and got the ultrasound. Unfortunately, they couldn't determine anything from the ultrasound. What I did find out was that the lump is blurry around the edges, which means that more than likely it's not cancer (yay). So they strongly suggested that I make an appointment to see the breast surgeon to get an additional exam and probably a biopsy. Next I went to get the mammogram. I have never felt discomfort like that. They squished my boob A LOT! About 8 times from multiple positions and multiple squahers. After a while of that torture, I was done. As I was dressing, I was informed that my mammogram was normal (yippie), but because they were not sure what the lump was, they still wanted me to see the surgeon. So, this time next week I'll be there for the next leg of this journey. Thankfully, John will be going with me. :)

Happy Easter!!!

Hello everyone!

It's FINALLY Easter! I love this day- it's my most favorite day of the year! I've already attended a sunrise service at my church and am so excited about going back for the main service. The sunrise today was beautiful! The weather was a little on the chilly side, but it wasn't too bad. I am so thankful that spring has finally arrived! I was afraid that it wouldn't make it. The warm weather has definitely invigorated me- inside and out. Yesterday, John and I spent most of the day in our favorite room, the lanai.

Here's one of my favorite pics that I took a handful of years ago, I think that it just screams the true Reason for everything:

Things have been super crazy around here recently. Not much is new, just staying busy with work and Bible study. But here's the new stuff:

I'm hosting a table at my church's annual Women's Ministry Tea. It really happened by accident. I wasn't planning on hosting a table, but we had too many people invited for everyone to sit at Mindy's table. When I went to find out where Amy, Eileen and I could find three spots together, I was told that one lady who had a table dropped out and they desperately needed someone to host that table. Next thing I knew, I was getting the information and tickets in the mail. I think it will be fun. Amy is helping me (I don't really know if she wanted to, but we're in this thing together- lol!). The theme of our table will be a beach luau. We are going to have leis and everything. Our philosophy for the day will be "we may not have the cutest table, but it will be the funnest!" We want everyone to know that we are in it to have a blast! Do you think a conga line around the table at some point during the day will be too much???

The next biggest news is kinda scary, but I know everything will turn out alright. A couple of weeks ago I found a lump in my left breast. I went to the doctor and she seems to think that it's no big deal, but I get to have my first mammogram on Tuesday (oh, joy). I'm a little nervous, and definitely anxious for the results (hopefully, I will have them by the end of the week), but I have peace that everything will work out fine. I know that no matter what happens, God will take care of me. :)