Acceptance: I Can't Compete With Fake

Ok. I know I say this every time I blog, but gee it really has been a while since I've been on here. Really, it only feels like a few day (a couple of weeks at the most). It reminds me of a saying that my parents told me time and time again growing up: "The older you get, the faster time flies". Or as my Dad sums it up "Time travels exponentially". Thanks Mom and Dad. It's scary to think about how right they were/ are. It's even scarier to think that if they were right about this, what else were they right about... Maybe I should have listened closer... hmmm...

I keep having this particular thought cross back and forth through my mind the last few week (ok, I'll be honest, months). And the thought is this: I can't compete with fake. Sure, I could make my best attempt at competing with fake, but in order to do so, I would need to adopt some "fake" tendencies. That I am not willing to do. I have been down that road before. Sure it starts out nice and paved, but before I know it I've unintentionally driven directly into enemy territory. I'm out of gas, stuck in the mud, and am surrounded by the unrelenting enemy. To top it all off, I'm in a hurricane and I've run out of bullets. Needless to say, since I made it out alive, I don't really want to take that short cut again. So, I don't allow myself the "luxuries" of fake. Instead, I have taken the "safer" route. The natural route.

But it's hard being natural in a fake world. Though I've surrounded myself with like minded friends (those who love, appreciate and encourage my natural side), I still find it difficult some days. Most days really. For me it's so easy to look at the inside of others and to not pay much attention to the package. But for some reason I struggle with treating myself with the same respect. Maybe it's because I know my strongholds. I know where I've been. I know I hold myself to a nearly unreachable standard. Why? Why do I struggle? Why does this have to be so hard? Why am I making this so hard on myself?

Start where you are. My friend, Heather, reminded me of this just yesterday in yoga class. It's a concept we discuss often in the studio. It's all about accepting yourself for how you are right now. Where you are right now. It's not about judging yourself or feeling guilty about where you feel like you should be, but about the here and now. True acceptance.

Love comes from within. I am so thankful that I'm a born again Christian. That I've got the living breathing God of the Universe living in my body. I want my body to be a nice, comfortable and clean place for Him to live. I believe that my body is His temple (1 Cor. 6:19-20). I have heard it stated that you can't show someone love unless you love yourself. Love comes after acceptance. I am thankful that through His grace and mercy I can love myself. Through His power and love, I can show others His love. Lord, thank You that though I am still a work in progress, You can still use me to show Your love to others.

I have also been reminded recently of a saying from Joyce Meyer: "I may not be where I should be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be!" Some days are still a struggle. I fear they may always be. But thinking back on where I've come from, how far God has brought me, helps to give me some courage to face the days when the view is more of a mountain than a mole hill.

Lord, please help us all to face the enemy head on, donned with our armor, with You as our banner and our rearguard. May our eyes be opened to see the the army that You have provided for us (2 Kings 6:17). The battle is not our own, but Your's, Lord. Amen.

Scripture for thought:

"Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds. After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will restore us, that we may live in his presence." ~Hosea 6:1-2

It's Over!

My yoga training is finally over! Really, it's kind of bitter sweet, but that's life. I must remember that it is just the end of the beginning. I've spent 100 hours in class training, countless minutes student teaching, and heaven only knows how long in study and preparation. Now, it's time for this little birdie to fly. Some moments I still feel inadequate, but I have to remind myself that God loves to use inadequate people to do amazing things for His glory. And that's what it's all about anyway. His glory.

At moments in time like these, I can not help but to reflect on all the changes in my life. Not just those since I started the yoga teacher training, but on the recent journey that God has been leading me. I have come to realize that I have been on a quest to seek myself over the last few years. And on that quest I have sought  high and low, near and far to find out who I really was. Who I thought that I wanted to be. Only I never found myself in the places that I looked. I found me in the last place I thought I'd find me: right where I left myself. The only difference is that I'm older, more mature, and more hip than I remember being before. Or maybe, I've stayed the same and the experiences I've had only served to positively change my self  image. And it's funny to me, how I find bits of God in me (it really shouldn't surprise me, I, just as everyone else who has ever lived, have been made in God's image). God showed Himself to one of His prophets, Elijah. Although, God did not appear in the "normal" places that one would seek for Him. He wasn't in the wind. He wasn't in the earthquake. He wasn't in the fire. He was in a whisper. The last place anyone would ever think to find the God of the universe would be in a small, tiny whisper.

I am so thankful for the new found freedom that God has been giving me. Taste and see that The Lord is good. And praise God- His mercies endure forever and ever!

Amazing Blessings

Hello again everyone! I know it's been too long since I've been on here last, but hey, that's life. At least I'm back. :)

God has been doing some amazing things with me recently. To begin with, I was stressed to the max with my old job. Yep, you read right. OLD job. :) He's moved me to a small company called PeachMac headquartered out of Athens, they are like an Apple Store. I'm working there part time right now, afternoons, as the assistant to the office manager. Currently my main task is to process the accounts payable for all the stores (there are five locations). It's a fantastic job and wonderful company. Everyone one I work with is wonderful, especially my new boss, Cheryl (the office manager). I am so blessed to be able to learn how to manage a small business from her. She's a wonderful and talented lady, so full of wisdom. Words can not describe how blessed I am to be in this position. :)

On another front: I'm almost done with my yoga classes for my 100 hour teacher certification program. I've got just a few more classes left and by May 1st- it's all over. So starting next month I'm going to begin teaching my own beginner's level yoga classes. :) I've already been doing some student teaching and it has been a blast! I still feel inadequate when I teach, but I figure it will disappear with time and practice. And if it doesn't, well, God has a tendency to use people who are inadequate to do the job so He gets all the glory. Which is what I'm going for anyway. I want to use yoga to bring people closer to Christ. After all, our bodies are His temple. We have all been bought with a price, therefore, let us all honor God with our bodies.

Another HUGE blessing that God gave me recently is the healing of a rocky relationship. To be honest, it was about dead. But, God has brought it back to life. And not only is it alive once more, but it is more alive now than it ever was before. It's like it was dark and stormy for years and now the dark clouds are gone, the sky is blue, the sun is shining and birds are singing. When I think about what He has done, all I can do is praise. I am so thankful for the blessings that He is raining down on me this spring.

There is nothing that is happening to me that I could have done on my own. For in my weakness, He is strong. Hallelujah!

Oh, boy! So much has happened since I last blogged!

To begin, last week was the Babbie Mason Embrace event at church. It was wonderful! We had such a blast! The week before the event I got roped into singing in the choir and I had so much fun that night! I don't know if I'll ever sing in another choir, but it sure was fun while it lasted. The whole night was a success and everyone there was really blessed.

John and I took a long weekend to celebrate our anniversary (we had to go early because I couldn't get off work for our anniversary). We spent our time in Savannah. It was beautiful down there. Our first day was spent in the historic district (or as John says, the hysterical district). The next two days we were our on Tybee island kayaking, checking out the old fort and hanging out on the beach. Our final day was spent driving around a wildlife area before we headed home. It was great to get away. But while we were gone Sarge had a incident.

Sarge caught his first squirrel. Yes, a living, breathing, furry tree rat! Somehow he caught it up and was able to kill it. Poor Candace didn't know what to do with it, so it just laid outside until we got home. I wouldn't have either. I just would have prayed for something else to come and take it away. John and I are so proud of Sarge! He's doing exactly what God designed him to do: terrorize rodents (he's a rat terrier). It just so happens that this one lived in a tree. Ever since then, Sarge has been going nuts for these squirrels (pun not intended). He can't wait to snag him another one.

On another note, I've started my yoga teacher training classes. It's going good. We have our second class this Sunday afternoon. I'm looking forward to it and getting into a regular routine with the classes.

That's all for now!

Namaste!

Super Busy!!!

Words can not explain how super swamped I've been! I've been trying to eek out a few minuets to drop a line on here, but every time I try, something else comes up and claims the time I've set aside. Finally, I'm here.

Things at work have been just ok. We've been busy and the pressure for sales has not let up in the least. We are getting closer and closer to the time that we will convert to Wells Fargo and there is a avalanche full of things to do. We were also able to get in someone to fill Teresa's spot and now we are short staffed again. This time we are not sure if we are going to get a replacement or not. Technically we are in a hiring freeze so if we get anyone they will have to come in from somewhere else in the organization. Hopefully we will get some support. To be honest, I'm getting worn out from being short staffed so much. We've had more time where we are short than when we've got a full staff. It's nothing new, just extra stress.

I've also started my yoga teacher training. I'm really enjoying the reading materials that have been assigned. We have our first official meeting on Saturday and I'm looking forward to getting into a routine with it. I'm hoping to be able to post some things that I've been learning/ writing on here, but I'm not sure if I can with my schedule being so hectic. We'll have to play it by ear. But I do want to say now is that I have been amazed with how close that yoga is to Christianity. There are MANY similarities in the methodology. I found myself writing down Bible scripture references in the margins of my books because the authors would write something that sounded VERY familiar from scripture. The little tips of the yoga iceberg that I've tapped into has already helped to broaden my view of God. It was amazing reading what is classified as a secular book and seeing Jesus all over it just by the design of yoga. Incredible.

I'm actually really looking forward to October starting. I've got so many things that have hit here at the end of this month that it's throwing me off. My schedule feels like a nightmare. I've got things going here and there and everywhere. October is looking more open and I plan on keeping it that way. I need a break from constant scheduling, some time to settle back into a routine.

Among those things we've got a crazy huge elephant ear plant growing just off our lanai. The funny part is that we didn't buy it! It came in the pot of a little gardenia that we purchased last year. We didn't even know it was there until it started to grow earlier this spring. We thought it would stay fairly small, especially since it was sharing a little patch of dirt with a larger plant. Boy were we wrong. Check it out:

And this picture was taken a couple of days after John trimmed it back. It had these octopus like arms going everywhere! They were all over our little gardenia, creeping over toward the grill, trying to climb the brick along the back and sides, and trying to block the door! Since this picture it's grown a few more giant leaves (only a few are smaller than Sarge) and it's got more tentacles growing yet again. We've decided that when the frost comes- it's getting a new home. John will cut it back and dig to find what will probably (based on it's current size) a football sized bulb and transplant it to a new home somewhere else in the yard. Hopefully next year I won't have to fight with another plant coming in and out the screen door!

Well, that's about all for now. I hope this finds everyone well!

Big Changes

Things have been changing so much recently, it's been tough to keep up with! To bring everyone up to speed, I got a promotion at work. I'm the new Lead Teller at my branch. And boy am I loaded down with challenges for the next few weeks. It wouldn't be such a rough transition, buy my boss, Liz, is out for three weeks with some training of her own. So, I'm picking up a bunch of extra tasks at work inaddition to trying to transition from peer to supervisor. The stress this week has been incredible. I've had headaches the last two day- I haven't had a headache in MONTHS! Now two days in a row. My anxiety is about to peak (really it's more like explode, think of a volcano) so I'm really looking forward to tomorrow's yoga classes.

We discovered that Sarge is scared of baloons. John brought one home when I got the promotion and Sarge is terrified of it! He won't go anywhere near it! He's so funny, he completely avoids the room! When we first put it in the breakfast room, Sarge hid from it in the hallway and kept looking around and checking behind him expecting to see it floating up on him. He's gotten used to it to a small degree, but he still won't go into the breakfast room.

On another note: we have been able to purchase our new refrigerator and stove that we've been eyeing for a few months (we are selling our older ones). The new stuff is getting delivered tomorrow. :)Our kitchen is going to look so different. I'll try to remember to take some pics to post on here for everyone to see. They will be stainless and black to match the microwave and dishwasher. The next step will be a new sink and faucets (don't have a date on those yet, but eventually).



More good stuff is right around the corner: here in a couple of weeks, I'm going to get to meet my newest yoga teacher, Cheryl. She is going to be leading all the classes that I need to take to get my yoga certification. I'm ready to start down that path. It means doing something I love, helping others and just more positive growth coming my way. I'm ready to head down that path.

At Your Master's Feet

Who says that old dogs can't learn new tricks? Well, I can't say much for Sarge, but God sure used him the other day to get to me.

Friday morning, John was staying at home for the day and was still in bed when I was getting up to go to work. Sarge, of course, was all excited that it's morning and was ready to go outside for a run around the yard. Shortly after letting him back in, I sat down for my breakfast. As I was reading through my daily devotions, Sarge started freaking out and barking constantly out the back window. I got up, looked around and didn't see a thing. No matter what I said to him he wouldn't stop barking. Finally, I called him and forced him to sit at my feet. After a moment of sitting near me, he quited down and began to relax. I looked down at his furry little body and thought "So this is what it takes for him to get quiet; he has to sit down at his master's feet". Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. That's what God wants from each of us.

Everyday, we have lots of things pulling at us, vying for our attention and often times we (me, especially) start to freak out over stuff that's not even a speck on God's radar. It's those moments, that we (again, I'm speaking to myself on this one) need to bring ourselves to His feet and let Him minister to our hearts and calm us down so we can get back to the most important things in this life. It's funny what a little four legged varmint can teach us. It's even more incredible that God will use everything to deepen our relationship with Him if we allow Him and keep ourselves open.